Mind and Body, Environment and Genes:

Interactions Between Childhood Trauma and Physiological Systems

(one of my soul-sucking term papers)

Childhood trauma—whether physical abuse, sexual abuse, or severe neglect—is associated with various forms of psychopathology, including posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), borderline personality disorder, and substance use disorders. Why does childhood trauma predispose a person to psychopathology? Perhaps the predisposition comes from interactions between trauma and biology during early development. Early trauma impacts the gene expression of neurotransmitters, immune cells, and endocrine hormones that have far-reaching effects on neurological structures, activation patterns, and functional networks. These neurodevelopmental deficits make the brain more sensitive to trauma. Evidence of the relationship between childhood trauma and physiological alterations suggest an underlying mechanism for developing PTSD.

Keywords: childhood trauma; PTSD; gene expression; serotonin; cortisol; glucocorticoid; HPA axis; hippocampus; amygdala; emotion processing; somatic syndromes

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"God picked you because you were a loser"

Got this iPad app called Glo Bible. Doing a prepared plan to read the whole Bible in one year. Read about the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah this morning, then the part about Lot’s daughters getting him drunk and having sex with him. Expected that God would come slap up those silly hos, but He didn’t. I hope that scene is in there at some point. Just seems to me that incest is far more immoral than orgies and whatever other sexual impropriety. And apparently it was okay for Abraham to commit adultery, maybe because his wife suggested it(?). Confused. I’ll be praying for clarity on this.

–July 29, 2012 [link]

At the end of July, I posted to Facebook about incest in the Book of Genesis. I wondered why God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah but didn’t punish Lot’s daughters, and said I would pray for clarity on this. Well, Pastor Rob Ketterling mentioned the story in his sermon this weekend at River Valley Church, along with several other examples of less-than-stellar behavior in the Bible.

Some Things You Lose, Some Things You Give Away

I'll be honest: There are some things I miss about the "old me." I've felt a few sparks of it over the last week, remembering when I used to get so lost in music and carried off to some distant land in my head where I conjured up the most beautiful and aching prose I've ever written. Tonight, I was reminded of it again when I visited one of my old online haunts. I'd created these lovely page layouts with clever headers. And the content—how it had flowed like an endless river! I never imagined back then that the well would run dry when I went dry. Not that I ever imagined going dry back then, either.

Upheaval of the Familiar

In a sudden flicker of intuition, I checked Harvard Extension School’s course catalog for the Spring 2013 semester. I had already selected my courses for this coming fall, prepared to register at 6:00am EST on July 30. The two online-option classes would allow me to complete preadmissions requirements from the comfort of my home in Minnesota, and I rejoiced in the assurance that my established level of performance would guarantee admittance to the Bachelor of Liberal Arts program. Come spring semester, I would enroll full-time as a degree-seeking candidate backed by federal student loans, which require full-time student status, and continue to conduct my studies online until next fall, at which point I would relocate for the on-campus experience. My plan was solid—until I perused the list of spring offerings.

A Night at the Triple Rock with Deretla

Shortly after 5:00, Deretla’s members—vocalist Brandon, drummer Chris, guitarists Nick and Kevin, and bassist Matt—squeeze into my booth at the Triple Rock Social Club’s bar. Doors are open for Root of All Evil’s 25th anniversary show, celebrating the late Earl Root’s contributions to Minneapolis’s metal scene and spotlighting Nancy Root’s fundraiser for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. Let it be said that metal fans apparently do give a damn.

A Night at the Triple Rock with Saul Williams

I could barely believe that I was going to see Saul Williams—the Saul Williams—performing at a small venue where I’d seen a few local artists. It seemed almost out-of-place. He should be performing on Mars. This guy is too legendary in my mind to play the Triple Rock Social Club on a Monday night.

Saul Williams. The man who married classic poetry and hip-hop beats. The visionary who inspired so many lines in my own creative writing. He who wrote and loudly, coolly spoke:

A Night at the Cabooze with Jon Wayne & The Pain

I was told that message of Minnesota band Jon Wayne & The Pain was one of recovery from drug and alcohol addiction. That message was lost on me Wednesday night at the Cabooze as someone’s Pabst Blue Ribbon spilled into my slipper boots and the guys standing next to me nonchalantly sparked up a bowl of weed. It was difficult to zero in on the musical and lyrical composition while drunken frat boys and white neo-Rastafarians assaulted my personal space with their jerky swaying.