There are so many times I find myself thinking that I should be sharing this experience with you. You should be here, so I can turn my head and look into your eyes and have that split-second connection where we’re reading each other’s mind, that moment when I know with absolute certainty that I am not alone and never will be alone again.
It’s hard to go back to living when the truth has become an illusion.
I briefly imagined an alternate reality in which I had a million dollars—you wouldn’t have to work anymore, and you wouldn’t have to go to school. I could take care of everything you need. But then I realized, how selfish of me. If you left me because there weren’t enough hours in the day, then freeing up your time would leave you free to love me, so I’m thinking of a way to clear your schedule. In this scenario, I would deny you the opportunity to be self-supporting, productive, useful, challenged, inspired, and shaped. Life isn’t meant to be easy, and the process is what gives it meaning.
So busy focusing on how much I want to love and care for you, I haven’t stopped to consider that it might not be in your best interest. And it wasn’t in your best interest, was it? Isn’t that the reason we’re not together?
“This isn’t a problem. And you know how I know it’s not a problem? Because we’re not together. If we were together, it would be a problem. But we’re not. We’re never going to get back together.”
This is true. And so is everything else. You are my other half, the one I’d vow to love for the rest of my life, the man with whom I’d raise incredible children. You loved me more than you’ve ever loved anyone else, you still love me, and you will always love me. And we will never be together.
No comments:
Post a Comment